Reposted by popular demand…
For all the fundies out there that want to “preserve” the institution of marriage…
“I do not believe we should change the traditional definition of marriage.” He also said he thought the college magazine was sensationalizing his “well-known and hardly unusual views of same-sex marriage.” – Mike Huckabee
You don’t think we should change the traditional definition of marriage you say?
“For most of European history, marriage was more or less a business agreement between two families who arranged the marriages of their children. Romantic love, and even simple affection, were not considered essential. Historically, the perceived necessity of marriage has been stressed.”
Source: http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/ATLAS_EN/html/history_of_marriage_in_western.html
Are you saying Mr. Huckabee that we should go back to business agreements? No no, you can’t be saying that. What could you possibly mean?
“Men usually married when they were in their 20s or 30s and expected their wives to be in their early teens. It has been suggested that these ages made sense for the Greek because men were generally done with military service by age 30, and marrying a young girl ensured her virginity.”
Source: http://www.richeast.org/htwm/Greeks/marriage/marriage.html
So what you’re really saying is, we should go back to pedophilia (in this day and age) and allow men to take on wives in their early teens? Just to make sure they haven’t slept around you know, that’s the only reason why older men want younger women (or girls for that matter)? Nah you can’t mean that…
Oh but you say, marriage, according to your religion, and to the bible is:
“The conjugal union of man and woman, contracted between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together throughout life.”
Ok, I get it, it’s a religious thing. A bible thing. I can understand that. Your faith says that it’s between a man and a woman — this whole traditional marriage. One man and one woman. Wait, what?
“The Hebrew Bible (Christian Old Testament) describes a number of marriages, including those of Isaac,[Gen 24:49-67] Jacob,[Gen 29:27] and Samson.[Judg 14:7-12] Polygyny, or men having multiple wives at once, is one of the most common martial arrangements represented in the Hebrew Bible, yet scholars doubt that it was commom among average Israelites because of the wealth needed to practice it.”
Source: http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?letter=M&artid=213
But you just said that this is what God had intended, one man and one woman. Why are all these (wealthy) people from the bible taking multiple wives? That’s not the tradition of marriage that you just said it was. That’s polygamy or polyandry. And it’s against the law now. Oh wait, it’s because it’s in the old testament and therefore null and void because there’s a new testament? Ok if you say so…
“One deviation from the typical form of secular union which, however, is also called marriage, is polyandry, the union of several husbands with one wife. It has been practised at various times by a considerable number of people or tribes. It existed among the ancient Britons, the primitive Arabs, the inhabitants of the Canary Islands, the Aborigines of America, the Hottentots, the inhabitants of India, Ceylon, Thibet, Malabar, and New Zealand.
In the great majority of these instances polyandry was the exceptional form of conjugal union. Monogamy and even polygamy were much more prevalent. The greater number of the polyandrous unions seem to have been of the kind called fraternal; that is the husbands in each conjugal group were all brothers. Frequently, if not generally, the first husband enjoyed conjugal and domestic rights superior to the others, was, in fact, the chief husband.”
Source: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09693a.htm
Wait… I thought this was just a bible thing. You mean this was practiced A LOT of places, with A LOT of people??? And that it is even creepy enough that brothers had sex with their brothers’ wives? I don’t know about all this Mr. Huckabee. I’m not sure I want to go back to this.
And since this is an obvious religious thing. You know with God and churches performing the ceremonies of marriages this whole time… oh wait, they weren’t?!?
“In A.D. 527-565 during the rein of Justinian lawyers drew up laws called the Justinian Code and this was a regulation of their daily life including marriage. Up until the time of the Justinian Code just saying you were married was enough.
Until the ninth century marriages were not church involved. Up until the twelfth century there were blessings and prayers during the ceremony and the couple would offer their own prayers. Then priests asked that an agreement be made in their presence. Then religion was added to the ceremony. “
Source: http://www.essortment.com/all/historyofmarri_rimr.htm
Well I’ll be, who knew?
“1690s U.S.: Virginia wasn’t always for lovers—Passionate love between husband and wife is considered unseemly: One Virginia colonist describes a woman he knows as “more fond of her husband perhaps than the politeness of the day allows.” Protestant ministers warn spouses against loving each other too much, or using endearing nicknames that will undermine husbandly authority.”
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200505/marriage-history
Traditionally speaking, in the U.S., well after the bible, you want us to go back to not loving each other because it would seem unseemly and well it would undermine the husband’s authority? Are you trying to say we should go back to that tradition? No endearing nicknames, or genuine love for each other? I’m confused Mr. Huckabee. I don’t know what tradition you’re wanting us to keep to. Please explain…
“From the 5th to the 14th centuries, the Roman Catholic Church conducted special ceremonies to bless same-sex unions which were almost identical for those to bless heterosexual unions. At the very least, these were spiritual, if not sexual, unions.”
Source: http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html
Source: http://www.ualberta.ca/~di/csh/csh12/Boswell.html
Wait, you’re totally throwing a wrench into this argument here. This goes against everything Roman Catholic. And yanno, this is not very traditional according to your idea of what the tradition of marriage is supposed to be…
“From the 1690s to the 1870s, “wife sale” was common in rural and small-town England. To divorce his wife, a husband could present her with a rope around her neck in a public sale to another man. “
I know you don’t honestly think we should go back to divorces that only needed a ROPE around the woman’s NECK in a public sale to another man… right?
Source: http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html
Source: John R. Gillis, For Better, For Worse: British Marriages, 1600 to the Present, (New York: Oxford University Press, 1985) pp. 211-217.
“Under English common law, and in all American colonies and states until the middle of the 19th century, married women had no legal standing. They could not own property, sign contracts, or legally control any wages they might earn.”
I’m not sure I like this Mr. Huckabee. You’re making it seem like we should go back to days where women didn’t have any rights, or legal standing with marriages. We couldn’t own property or sign contracts, and we couldn’t control (legally) any wages we earned?!? I am starting to really not like your traditional institution of marriage at all. Yanno, being a woman and all.
Source: http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html
Source: Sara M. Evans, Born for Liberty: A History of Women in America, (New York: Free Press, 1989), p. 22.
“In 1978, New York became the first state to outlaw rape in marriage. By 1990, only a total of ten states outlawed rape in marriage. In thirty-six states rape in marriage was a crime only in certain circumstances. In four states, rape in marriage was never a crime.”
Ok I was born in 1976. So I was two years old before it took our country to outlaw rape in marriage? You mean to tell me that this institution of marriage that you speak so highly of between a male and a female, up until 31 years ago, was a place where women could be raped by their husbands and NOTHING could be done about it? Oh well if there was certain circumstances it wasn’t ok, but on a general note, game on?!?
Source: http://www.buddybuddy.com/peters-1.html
Source: Jane Sherron De Hart and Linda K. Kerber, “Gender and The New Women’s History,” in Linda K. Kerber and Jane Sherron De Hart, eds. Women’s America: Refocusing the Past, 4th ed. (New York: Oxford University Press, 1995) p. 13.
By now, the smart folks will have noticed what I did. And just to clarify, it was never my intent to point out all the bad stuff. But if you look at the history of anything to do with our country, the world, our existance, and how we came to be — it’s not all roses. It’s what people would call learning from your mistakes. We don’t make the same mistakes anymore (sometimes we have to learn them over and over, but eventually we learn). But again, I digress, that wasn’t the point of what I was doing.
Evolution of marriage is outlined (albeit shortly due to time constraints of the reader soaking in too much information at once, and losing them in the process) in this post to show you that there was never a standard set institution of marriage. It has been, and will continue to be (for us free thinkers who don’t rely on history to dictate our future) something that is ever changing.
Marriage started out as something that was done for land, property, and money. Men were given all sorts of leeway with polyandry and concubines (though not women). It evolved to arranged marriages, and outlawing multiple wives. It evolved to making it illegal for men to rape their wives.
The whole point of this, if anyone is still reading this far, is that any argument about keeping marriage a certain way because that’s how it has always been is a load of BULLSHIT.
Read your history. Before you spout off about religion, and institution, and man and woman, learn how marriage has always been an evolving contract between two people (for whatever reasons).
There is not a set standard of marriage that has withstood the test of time. There’s nothing to support that theory.
So when Mike Huckabee talked about not changing the institution of marriage…which institution was he talking about? The one that changed drastically over the years to get to where it is today? Or was he talking about the original ideas of the institution of marriage that in most states are now illegal, sexist, and quite frankly absurd?
Institution of Marriage for Dummies January 4, 2012
She Was Christmas December 27, 2011
People keep asking how my Christmas was. I lie to them and tell them it was nice or sometimes I give them a half-truth of it being uneventful. The truth is…Christmas didn’t come for me this year. It went to every house but mine. I miss her. She was Christmas to me. Every bit of it is her and I don’t know if Christmas will ever come to me again with her gone.
-J
What Scares You About America Right Now? December 7, 2011
I was watching an old clip of Henry Rollins interviewing Marilyn Manson. They talked about his music but then went on to discuss the documentary Bowling For Columbine. Henry Rollins asked Marilyn Manson… “What scares you about America right now?” It got me thinking of how I would answer that question if he had asked me…
What Scares You About America Right Now?
1. Religion - I’m an atheist so this is from an atheist’s point of view. Yet, even with my views I hold no ill will against people who want to practice their beliefs. That is your right. And it should always be your right. But somehow we’ve lost sight of what the core of those religions really mean. And now it just turns into fighting over my religion can kick your religion’s ass and things like if “God” is printed on money it takes away the religious freedom of other faiths. Really? I never looked down at a dollar bill and went “What the fuck is this? This is totally offensive to my non-belief in God and now my day…my life is ruined.” No, I just put it in my pocket and took it back out to pay for something unaffected. It’s money, not a bible.
These are such minor things. So unimportant things. So unneeded. When did everything get scrutinized like a technicality that got you tossed from a competition because you weren’t wearing the proper attire?
I just feel that everyone in this country has lost it when it comes to religion. Stop worrying about what your neighbor’s faith is and whether or not it’s up to your standards. Try meeting them on a common ground as humans. Because in the end… we all share that belief.
2. Rights - We’re coming upon a new civil rights movement for people again. And I find it sad. I find it sad because we didn’t learn from the first time around. We watch black and white reels of marches and protesters fighting for their right to be first class citizens. We listen to the eloquent yet powerful words of Martin Luther King Jr. and we’re reminded of a time when this country forgot that we are all human beings and that is what makes all of us equal. And we say now we’ve learned from that mistake. But the truth is we haven’t. We’re telling the next generation that most of us are first class citizens but there are some that aren’t.
Haven’t you heard that old phrase if you don’t learn from your mistakes you’re doomed to repeat them? And then the next several generations in the future will look upon us as bigger idiots because we could have learned. We could have made a difference. We could have taken the words of Mr. King to heart and really did something with ourselves. But we won’t. Not in my lifetime, which scares me.
Every citizen is a first class citizen no matter their faith, color, age, sexual orientation, or whatever else people can find to look down on people. So what if they’re different from you? Embrace differences, not walk away from them. You just might become a better person because of it.
3. Politics – Our whole political system is a joke. It’s corrupted and foul. It stinks of greed and pathetic attempts at power-mongering. Not one person in congress or the White House gives a shit about you. What they give a shit about is power and controlling their slice of the American Pie. If you think otherwise you are so brain-washed and need to walk outside and smell the shit they throw at you.
Have you ever noticed that our voting becomes this sad attempt at picking the lesser of two evils? Why does it have to be that way? Why can’t we throw the whole fucking book away and start from scratch? Do we really need an electoral system now? How many people do you think would really win a seat in congress or a spot in the oval room if it was one man one vote?
How many people would actually run for congress if all the perks were stripped away and there was an actual checks and balance system that stopped them from horking down every piece of power they can gobble up?
This system is broken. Congress is broken. The White House is broken. And it scares the ever-living shit out of me because there are people I would never in a million years allow to call the shots calling the shots. You don’t represent me. You don’t represent any of us. We weren’t born with silver spoons and we had to actually fight and work for what we have. You are the opposite of me. You are the opposite of us. You are the minority. And that’s the truth of it. The minority is ruling the majority.
At some point you have to realize that — and at some point you have to stop accepting it.
4. Technology – I love my fancy iPhone just like the next guy. And I don’t think there’s any thing wrong with technology and becoming more advanced. But at the end of the day — people don’t pull the plug and live. And now they’re just sucked into this continuum of never-ending technology turning themselves into robots. Our kids don’t even know how to socialize with each other anymore. They know how to on Facebook but take their computer, their Xbox, their phone away and they wouldn’t know how to hold a conversation with someone to save their lives. There’s a balance that everyone is forgetting like that quiet kid at the back of the room that never says a word.
I remember when I was pushed out the door and told to come back when the street lights came on. Now kids just sit there playing Call of Duty from the moment they get home till they go to bed. I remember playing the same game only with toys we made from sticks and piles of mud thrown at each other.
If we don’t find that balance we might as well say we’re living in the Matrix. Because what else is there if you can’t appreciate all that is around you and only like what’s digitally created for you?
5. Apathy – There used to be a time when people actually gave a shit about each other. And this apathetic nature we’ve developed is a sickening pile of crap. Why can’t you look beyond yourself and look to your neighbor and offer him a hand when he needs you? Do you think you’re alone on this planet? Do you think any of us will make it without helping each other? None of us get out of this thing alive, so why not make it a worthwhile experience for everyone?
I’m so tired of people turning a blind eye and not giving a shit. You can turn off your TV. You can put down the newspaper. You can go on about your busy life of meetings and doctor’s appointments. But the problems don’t go away. And half of the problems wouldn’t be there if we weren’t such selfish assholes. The next time you see someone drop something, pick it up for them. The next time you see someone getting bullied stand up for them. The next time you see someone struggling to put a plate of food on the table, bring them a meal. They’re no different from you and you could be them. The only difference is circumstances.
Not everyone is a jerk trying to get a free ride on someone else’s dime. When did we stop seeing people as individuals and started judging them by a collective group that the media writes about for a sensationalistic piece to garner more readers? At the end of the day — can you really say that the person needing your help is the exact same guy that you read in an article earlier? Because if you can’t, you should stop treating him as if he was.
Conclusion
I could probably go on about the many different things that scare me with our country today — but then I’d lose most of the people reading this. My last written scare on this piece is that people don’t give any time to the small things anymore. They’re too busy with their life to take a moment and read a blog post that might be a little longer than a couple of paragraphs.. They just don’t have the time. “Can’t you condense it and give the cliff notes?” No, I can’t. Because sometimes, the attention is in the details. The details matter. And if you can’t give them your undivided attention, you scare me the most.
Dream A Little Dream Of Me… December 6, 2011
I have to remember that little girl with big dreams sometimes. She hasn’t grown old and aged. She’s still in my head giggling at the stupid kid jokes when the adults aren’t looking. She dreams the most vivid dreams. She plays movies in my head that you people call daydreams. I like hanging out with her. She reminds me of who I am. She reminds me of where I started from.
And even though the path has winded in all sorts of directions and stalled and stopped for so many obstacles… the path is still there. There’s just some brush over it that needs to be pushed and picked away. I keep saying my days in Michigan are numbered. I know there are some that think that is an empty threat. It’s not. I’ve done it before. Three times to be exact.
I feel like I pulled away enough of the brush to find the path. I can hear the little girl inside my head laughing and singing and I know I’ve found it.
This is my poetic way of telling you I’m getting my shit together. I’m not just talking about it. I’ve started it. I put the last domino in the train and I’m ready to flick the starter piece. It’s exciting to think I’m actually doing this. I’m finally getting off my lazy ass (I don’t think there’s a very poetic way to put that to be honest) and doing instead of talking. Talk is cheap as they say…
…and while I am cheap, I still have the ability to make you buy it.
Get in line, tickets will be gone soon.
Love,
Jen
I Lose Faith In Humanity One Idiot On The Road At A Time November 19, 2011
Everyone has found themselves in a fit of road rage at some point in time. Someone has cut you off, made you slam on your brakes, almost hit your car, etc. Each city or state jockeys for the title of having the worst drivers. Some say it’s New York, some say it’s Los Angeles, I say it’s Michigan.
The problem with Michigan or Detroit and the surrounding area to be exact, is that we don’t have the public transportation system that most big cities do. We’re the motor city so I guess it’s fitting that the majority of us drive cars and rely on cars as our mode of transportation.
That being said, you would think the city known for building cars would know how to drive them. Moreover, you would think that we would know how to drive them safely and respect other drivers on the road. We don’t.
I spend the better part of my drive when I’m in the car saying “really?” I rarely get that angry where I’m yelling at the person that has just cut me off, but I am human and sometimes it gets the better of me.
I think the way you treat the people on the road around you shows the kind of person you are. Being on the road is no different than being in a room full of strangers. You wouldn’t dare do half the things you do on the road in that room. Why do you think that because you are in a car it’s ok to treat people the way you do?
Is it because you can drive off and never see the people around you again? Is it because there are car doors and windows separating you from them? Whatever the justification you give for the way you treat other drivers, at the end of the day, do you really think it’s ok to drive the way you do?
I was driving back home on twelve mile road the other night finishing up some errands when not one, but two cars pulled into my lane at the last possible minute. I had to slam on my brakes, that’s how close they were, in order to stop from hitting them. Instinctually I looked to my left (I was in the right lane heading west on a four lane road) to see if there was anyone in the left lane. There was not. After honking my horn to relay the point that you just made me panic to divert an accident, I looked in the rearview mirror to see if there was anyone behind me. There was not.
At this point I am flabbergasted at the gall of these two drivers. Why on Earth would you feel the need to make me freak out and slam on my brakes to avoid crashing into you when there was no one in the left lane or behind me to prevent you from turning after me?
My only guess is that one car was following another. Yet, even with that assumption, I have to wonder if they really thought they were going to lose the car in front of them when there was no traffic, but me, on the road to lose them in.
Another similar event happened the night before when I was driving to my grandma’s house. I was in the far right lane when the driver in the car to my left erratically jerked their car into my lane almost clipping my car in the process. They abruptly slowed their car down enough to turn onto the side street. I honestly thought I wasn’t going to stop in time. They gave me no time to stop. Behind me, again, was no traffic.
My guess on this incident was that they realized at the last minute that they needed to turn down the upcoming side street. Instead of accepting the fact that they were going to pass the street and would have to turn around to go back to it, they decided the safety of all people involved needed to be put in jeopardy so that they made the turn.
It’s this type of behavior that I find disturbing. I find it disturbing for a few reasons. The first reason is that it happens more frequently than it should. There are too many people on the road that turn or try to get into your lane quickly creating a hazardous situation when they could wait five seconds and take their time getting into your lane.
The second is that it makes me feel like our society is getting to this point that everything needs to be sped up. They keep raising the speed limits on our roads and I think it keeps breeding an unhealthy mentality that we need to hurry on the road instead of taking enough time to drive safely. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating we go at grandma and grandpa’s speed — I just think there has to be a happy medium than what’s out there now.
On a sidenote, for all you speeders out there that like the higher speed limits, you lose your MPG rating the moment you go over 60mph. So when you’re barreling down the freeway at 75-80mph you are not getting the 31mpg your car manufacturer advertises. And with gas prices the way they are that should matter — especially with anyone who drives an SUV or any other gas guzzler.
The third reason I find this type of driving behavior disturbing is that it’s a new trend on the road that people just assume someone else will stop for you regardless if they have the ability to or not. You chance getting into a car accident and possibly hurting someone to get into a lane quicker because of the assumption that they will just stop/slow down for you. What if they can’t? Why is the idea of you getting into a lane quicker somehow more important than the safety of the other driver and whoever your passengers are?
I’m using these similar events as examples, but there are many more. How many times have you tried to turn out of a parking lot onto a road somewhere but people in the lane you’re trying to get into pull in front of the exit? And because they’ve done this instead of stopping just short of it to let you out, now you can’t get out and have to wait for the lane to clear again. These people always do the same thing too once they’ve blocked you from getting out. They stare straight ahead and pretend they didn’t just block you and pretend you don’t exist.
It’s not the end of the world by any means, but you’re wondering why it was so important for them to be one car length ahead of you so they can get to their destination .0000008245 seconds quicker. This is the type of behavior that becomes symbolic of who you are as a person. This becomes an example of how you treat people and your manners (or lack thereof).
The road doesn’t make you exempt from using your manners. You don’t need me to tell you that. Yet, somehow, they seem to go right out the window the moment you buckle up your seatbelt to leave. Do you become a hypocrite when you expect other people to be respectful to you when you are out somewhere but earlier you cut someone off to get to the destination where these people are?
The moral of this blog post is to understand that your manners and being respectful to people does not fly out your car window the moment you get behind the wheel. You are not the only person trying to get to their destination in a reasonable amount of time. We all have some place to be. And we all want to get there in one piece. I think if half the drivers out there read this post and actually listened to it there wouldn’t be as many accidents on the road. You’re too busy thinking about yourself and being selfish that you forgot you’re not the only one that matters.
Try using the same manners you use when you hold the door open for someone, when you say please after requesting something, or when you say thank you after being given something and we won’t have nearly as many idiots on the road. The golden rule to do unto others as you would have them do unto you applies to the road too. Food for thought.
Two Cents Tuesday: A Walk In The Park November 15, 2011
I think most Americans can understand the sentiment behind Occupy Wall Street.
For most of us we are tired and struggling and for the past 8+ years nothing seems to be changing — only getting worse. And it’s to that point that most of us can relate. For the average joe that isn’t in the 1% bracket (for a lack of a better term), we are losing our houses, we are losing our jobs, we are losing our healthcare, or can’t even get affordable healthcare. We are struggling with mortgages and student loans. We are living paycheck to paycheck if we’re lucky.
I think on a human level people can understand the frustration that the average, middle class Joe has in this economy. We see banks mishandling their business and needing bailout money to keep afloat. We see the same banks using the same bailout money to hand out bonuses to executives. It’s frustrating.
There’s no specific person or entity that is to blame for our situation. When it comes down to it, we all have some part of the blame. From people knowingly taking out loans and mortgages that they couldn’t afford to pay back without drowning themselves in debt to banks letting these people take out these mortgages. The federal reserve pushing way too much money into the system down to the big three who knew their systems were broken and weren’t making competitive products in the market anymore so they turned a blind eye. From a president who called a war on misguided information that has spent trillions of dollars of our money to another president that thinks the nickle and dime tactic of infusing the economy will work.
We’re all to blame for this.
I wish people would stop pointing fingers now. I wish people stopped fighting simply because someone is of this party or that party. At the end of the day — you are an individual. You are not one thing or one label. You are the sum of all your parts. You are not just one color. You are many colors and combinations of colors. You are unique. Stop trying to place yourself into one category when you are many. And if we lose that labeling system of left/right, democrat/republican, tea party/OWS and become people again — maybe we can actually have a discussion on this.
There is nothing wrong with protesting Wall Street. People have the right to vent their frustration. Everyone is frustrated. Some are using this to say they’ve had enough. Some are doing this because they want something better. Some are wanting this because it means people are speaking up for themselves.
My only suggestion to those active in the OWS protests is to use your energy and numbers productively. It’s ok to sit in the park and let them know you’re fed up. But what do you want done? What do you want to change? What are your suggestions? Because at the end of the day sitting in the park isn’t going to resolve the issues in the long run. You need to focus and come up with a game plan.
You need to push through ideas and prospective legislation in your favor. What is it? Holding up a sign gives people an insight to your story, but it doesn’t tell your congressman/woman what you want them to do.
I hope that there’s a turning point with these protests and that they become more organized the longer they protest. I hope they gain in numbers and show the media circus, politicians, and corporations that it’s not just a few hundred lazy unemployed people. That they’re real people with real issues. Real people with real frustration. Real people who want real solutions and real dialogue on the problems. Because at the end of the day, every one one of us could take a walk in the park and find someone there to relate to…
We are all human and we want something better. We deserve better.
What Are The Chances? November 13, 2011
I got my belly button pierced ages ago when it was the new cool thing to do. So in human years, that’s about 11-12 years ago. When I originally got it pierced I had already gotten two tattoos. Tattoos, while not exactly great feeling, are easily tolerable to me. I chalk them up to nagging cat scratches because that’s what they feel like to me. Piercings, in my book, are a different story. And because of this thought process, I psyched myself out when I went to get it done.
I went in there trying to tell myself to be strong, be a man, it won’t hurt more than a tattoo. And at the same time, I was also thinking “OH MY GOD THIS IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD.” So needless to say, I wasn’t exactly on the right terms you should be on when you go to get body modification done. I laid down in the chair and he pierced me without much fuss other than I was white-knuckled the whole time. He said “you’re done, you can get up and look in the mirror now.” They had a full length mirror on the wall. I walked up to the mirror and looked at myself. I glanced down at the piercing and then back up at my face, that just so happened to be draining of all the color in it. When I realized what was going on I said “Ohhh…” I started to fall back and the guy caught me. Apparently, I was about to pass out.
When I got back up from my brief move to Florida, I no longer had the ball for my belly piercing. I had the standard ring with a ball piece. However, anyone that’s ever had their belly button pierced will tell you that it doesn’t move very much. So I thought I had some time whilst broke to wait till I had money to get a new one. My own fault was to go to a party at a club where it becomes a sweat-box because of all the body heat from dancing thinking I wouldn’t lose my jewelry. I lost the ring that night and had no money to get a new one.
By the time I had money to get a new piece of jewelry for my belly piercing, I couldn’t feed anything through the hole completely. I called the place that I got it pierced at and asked them what should I do. They said they could “stretch the hole” and to come in. Not that I was very fond of that expression, but I went in anyway. Determined that I wouldn’t be the big baby I was the last time around.
They do this thing where it looks like a nail (but it’s really a needle) and another needle (that looks like a thicker nail) to “stretch the hole.” The piercer had gotten me all set up with both of these lined up to jab through my original piercing spot. I’m ready to go and I wasn’t white-knuckled this time around. I was ready to take it. I wasn’t scared. And then he says… “how good are you on pain?”
“WHAT?!?” Why didn’t you just pierce me guy? I was so proud of myself to keep the thought of what was going to happen out of my mind and you brought it to the forefront so that I could freak out right before you did it? Are you normally this sadistic? Dear God that hurt so unbelievably bad. It hurt worse than the original piercing. And thank God he made sure I knew about it right before he did it. At the end of this night, I promised myself that I would never get rid of this piercing no matter how old I was. I didn’t care if I was 77 years old, my belly button would still be pierced for all the hell I went through to get it and keep it.
Fast forward to two nights ago. Since that lovely memory or memories, I had since changed my piercing. It was a spiral piece that I got when I lived in Ireland and it looked like this:
It was a nice piece that I got but it also was open ended and sometimes it would catch, slightly, on things. Cut to Friday night when I was getting ready to go to a party at the Greektown Casino. I was in the bathroom getting ready. I was already dressed (shirt, jeans, etc.) and tweezing my eyebrows so I didn’t give a tribute to Andy Rooney that night. I was in a hurry, always in a hurry, because I never give myself any time to get ready without a rush. I needed to get something out of my bedroom. I was in the doorway of the bathroom between the bathroom and the hallway. I turned quickly to leave the room and that’s when it happened…
My piercing caught on the door jam of the bathroom doorway. And because I was in such a hurry, I turned fast so the centrifugal force (that’s a technical term that probably has nothing to do with this) kept me there and pulled so hard on the piercing that I yelped/cried out in so much pain. I’m sure my neighbors thought I was getting murdered in my bathroom that’s how loud I was. In fact, I screamed “I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE” because I thought it had ripped through that flap of skin. I thought for sure I was bleeding.
When I took a deep breath and lifted my shirt I thought I was going to see a bloody mess. Yet, surprisingly enough, my skin wasn’t torn, there wasn’t even any blood, and the biggest shock was that it didn’t even tear or put a hole in my shirt. I sat there stunned, in pain, expecting the worse, yet somehow I escaped major damage. My piercing, however, did not. As I mentioned earlier, it was a spiral piercing. This is what it looked like after the event:
To give you an idea of how much force it took to straighten my spiral piercing…when I tried to bend it back to its original form I couldn’t even get it to budge an inch. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. It had no intention of moving. And yet, the door jam, plus my movement created the above. What are the chances? I mean… really? If this is making you weak in the knees you can imagine what it felt like. Only I could do something like this… Only I could be this unlucky on a night I was trying to be lucky.
